A Short story By Me


It’s a cold, wintery Friday. I walk over to close the blinds and see that the moon full and beautiful, and the sky blanketed by stratocumulus clouds. It’s almost 9 p.m. A knock on my door rings loud and clear.

It’s him.

He texted me earlier to let me know he might be stopping  by, but this late, that can only mean trouble.

I slowly walk away from the window and make my away across the living room, into the kitchen, and to the door. No sudden movements, be cool, stay calm.

“Hello you,” I say, then an embrace. I let him hold me. I can hear him taking the moment in and I roll my eyes. I’ve got to keep my distance. This river can not reach my sea, he is full of pollution.
“Come in.”
He’s careful, calculated, and I can feel him trying to undress my Mind, his eyes following where my hand falls, how fast I walk, and the creases in my face. It drives me crazy.
    In order to truly understand someone you must incorporate and go beyond the 5 senses. You can’t depend on what you hear because most often the most important things about a person or relationship are unspoken. You can’t depend on what you see because looks can be deceiving.  You can’t depend upon touch because some people are more reserved. You need skills like intuition. Freud said it best when he created the diagram of the iceberg, the majority of ourselves lies underneath water.
I lead him into the living room. 
     “Have a seat, how are you? How was your day?”
He takes a seat and I walk over to the kitchen to get drinks.
He smiles, “It was okay, long, I thought about you a lot.”
“Oh, you did?”
“yeah,” he said.
I’m not going to press him on his thoughts. I already knew all I needed to know, he wants me. But I’m already in a relationship.
“How was your day?”
“My day was good, long as usual, just went to work, still in my work clothes,” I said, pointing to my grey fitted skirt and black collared blouse.
“You are always working,” he said.
“So are you.”
He shrugs, “You been working on your book?”
“I’m trying, you know how that goes.”
He shakes his head.
“So would like you a beer, I got blue moons, I got some Red wine, water, and grapefruit juice.”
“ Mmm…I”ll take some red wine.”
I knew he was going to say that, why did I even allow wine to be an option.
“I knew you were going to pick that.”
He smiles, his beautiful smile and charm that masks his duplicity.

I walk over to the living room and hand him his glass, taking a seat next to him on my light green couch. My carpet is brown, and my sofa and chair are green. The colors represent dirt and grass, reminding me to stay grounded. Earth is the setting and theme of my whole bedroom apartment, and some of my clothes to. A plant at each corner of the room, their names are Fitty, Su, Tao, and Amen. Colorful paintings hang, photographs of flowers and mountain peaks, and quotes that swim across random areas of my bright yellow walls. It’s late and my lights are dim, and I’ve convinced myself that I don’t know what he’s doing here.
“You look good,” he said.
You look good too,” I reply, “Are you getting younger,? You looking all refreshed.”
We laugh.
“So what’s up?”
He pauses, “Well, it took a lot for me to come here.’
“Okay,” I said.
“Do you miss me?” he asks.
“Umm, sure, sometimes, why?”
He repeats, “No, I mean, do you ever really miss me?”
“I don’t know what your asking,”
“Your not answering the question.”
“Yeah, I mean it’s been a long time since we’ve talked, I’m glad you stopped by.”
“Your not answering the question.”
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”
I completely understood what he meant, but who does he think he is thinking he could just walk up in my house and what I’m supposed to fall into his arms.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m in a relationship and I’m happy with him, what we had was a long time ago. It didn’t work out for a reason. Everything is different now.”
He shakes his head and lets out a long sigh.
He can see right through me.
Everyone has their own language, some people call it a love language, and I both hate and love that very often he understands this language I speak with few words.
I take a sip of my grapefruit juice. I wasn’t going to drink wine with him.
“Sandra,” he said.
I know what he’s asking, and why he’s saying my name so pressing but I don’t know what to say so I’ll continue to play clueless.
“What, can I get you so more to drink?”
He picks up his glass and gulps down the last few drops of wine and gets up to leave. I don’t want him to, but he should.
He walks to the door, and I follow behind him.
“Okay, see you later, drive safe,” I said, as patronizing as possible.

He doesn’t even look back, his hand reaches for the door knob, and then he suddenly stops. He turns around and looks at me, with that look that makes me want to dig a hole in the middle of my fake ass dirt representing floor and hide. Hide from the truth. He backs me into the door and then grabs me by my waist as if it was his very own, as if it was his last chance in the world and pulls me closer to him. His stare is piercing my body and I don’t try to break from his grip. I’m looking at the floor and wondering where my thoughts went. Afraid that if he stares long enough he would find the truth to all his questions, that I did miss him, that even though we spoke on occasion he was never far from my thoughts.

     He looks at me looking like a deer in the headlights, stopped and ready, he was a bright shining light approaching me. His hands moving up and down my side, he breathes deep, and I think I am not breathing. He makes his way around to my hips, and it’s as if these curves in my torso were strategically placed to give him better leverage and to give him a better grasp as he pulls me closer and closer. I have to break away from him, but my feet won’t move. Now his breath is on my neck, it’s so loud and harmonic. With his right hand he grazes my bottom lip and now we are kissing. My blouse is no longer properly tucked into my skirt. I have relinquished all control to my bodily desires, lost in the sound of his breath and this kiss. I feel him all around me.
I am pulled into the present when I feel his hands gripping tighter and tighter around my neck. Is he chocking me? Okay, if he thinks that this is turning me on, it’s not, his grip is so tight and I can’t breathe. He has to see this look of pain and confusion on my face. What’s happening? I try to mouth for him to stop, but obviously nothing is coming out but some Rihanna like “aye, aye, ayes.”
There is no expression on his face.

There was a time when I would have given up everything for him. There is no oxygen on cloud 9.
Is he going to kill me? I can’t believe I let him back in again. When someone leaves your house, you close the door and lock it, you don’t leave the door half open.
He finally loosens his grip. I fall to the ground panting, wheezing, and familiar tears greet me as they trickle down my face.

He leaves.

When your past tries to catch up to you, “RUN.”

Human beings have tried to take the place of God in that they have taken what God freely gives and harnessed them for profit. Man is not even guaranteed to food if he can not pay for it. Water which is as freely and as indiscriminately given as the sun is now privatized.
Yes, we are like the cells of God, but we have tried to replace God Godself or himself or itself.

I wrote this story for him, so glad he loved it, I wasn't going to share it, but I figure what the heck. This is only Part I.

Part I

In the Amazon rainforests of Peru there lives the peaceful and harmonious titi monkeys. They live amongst the Godful backdrop of wondrous trees, infinite skies, and clear resounding water.
It was a warm and sunny on the fourteenth day of the seventh month. Jupiter was rising in the Eastern sky, and Saturn was lowering in the northwest.

Taja was playing in the forest with her little sister Tatien. They were playing their usual game of hide-of-seek. Tatien loved to play hide-and-seek, and even though Taja always knew were to find Tatien she enjoyed the game because she could go gather food while Tatien comfortably hid. While sifting through some leaves to uncover berries, Taja heard a strange noise in the forests that startled her, but there were many living beings in the forests and Taja always tried to be very brave so she did not immediately run. She remained alert and slowly continued to pick berries from the tree until she saw another Titi monkey staring back at her. She could tell he was from another part of the forest because his coat was brighter. He stuck out his hand and offered her for some berries but Taja did not take them. As she began to go away he anxiously jumped in front of her and pointed into the forest. She continued to swing past him. The titi monkey put his head down in disappointment and then disappeared back into the forest.
As Taja continued she felt a strange feeling. She felt like there was some one near. She thought it was just the same titi monkey so she yelled out into the rainforest hoping it would go away. She decided she would go back to find Tatien.

She continued on her path back to Tatien when she could not deny that someone was near any longer. Taja stopped in her tracks to listen, when before she could run a huge gorilla came out of the bushes and stood directly in front of her. Taja shouted and screeched very loudly until that same Titi monkey who tried to offer her berries in the woods came running towards her. He grabbed her arm and they swung from branch to branch in the forest, with the powerful gorilla chasing after them. Their arms were interlocked tight and the strange titi monkey was practically carrying all of fear stricken Taja’s and his own weight through the forest. The titi monkey saw his escape through a dense bush high up in a tree out of the gorilla’s sight.
Just went the titi monkeys thought they were safe, the huge powerful gorilla appear floating above a branch before them.

The gorilla said, “do not be afraid, I will not hurt you” and they felt a peace come over them.,’You have been chosen. For the first four letters of the world evolve is love, and God loves you, and it is time for you to join us in ascension.” Then the gorilla looked up into the sky and parted the air and the monkeys felt a surge of energy or prana like never before run through their heads and out of their feet. “I have given you knowledge,” said the gorilla.
Then the gorilla disappeared.
The titi monkeys looked at each other, and then Taja fainted. The titi monkey panicked, he shook her gently to no avail she lay seeming lifeless, but little did he know she was never more filled with life. He waited beside her, and for the first time in his life – He thought.

His mind was running with thought and for a long time it felt as if things were always this way and he forgot that he was ever an animal of instinct. For the first time, he looked at Taja and thought she was beautiful and he saw how she was different from all the monkeys he had known as opposed to how within her core she was the same.
In the midst of his thought, and after about 20 minutes Taja Awoke. The titi monkey came beside her to help her up and she pushed him away and ran back into her home into the forest to find Tatien. Taja just wanted to forget about everything that had just happened and she focused on going to find Tatien at her usual hiding spots. Then Taja thought about how God must also love to hide things, since she always loved all the news things and beings she would discover in the rainforests. Taja too was doing more than her usual thoughtless movements, now she was the thinker as well as the observer behind her thoughts.

Taja found Tatien resting within a banana grove, and she pounced on her and then they ran back to their village.
Taja seemed to be okay but she knew that something had happened to her. She was hungry and decided to go look for food, especially since she had not been able to gather berries. Oh, the berries, she just wanted forget about everything that had happened, but her mind wouldn’t let her forget. Taja was scared to walk back in the forest by herself, but she was hungry so she asked her friend Ki to come with her even though she wanted some time to be left alone in her thoughts. She thought such a self-sufficiency to be strange, every titi monkey loves company.
She swung and jumped from tree to tree with Ki, and they smiled, but Ki noticed that Taja’s smile was different. He did not understand the complexity of her new feelings. For the most part, he remained at equilibrium just like the other beings, all reflecting off of nature. Ki could not understand and he did not try to.
While looking for food, Taja found that she could not take such a darkness any longer, she had to talk to someone who might understand, and she left Ki and went to look for that titi monkey who had come into her life, and brought with him a storm that changed every landscape. Nothing was ever the same.

She looked for him, she went back into the forest and shouted for the Titi monkey who brings trouble to stand in front of her. Yet, as nightfall began to approach she gave up her search and decided to head back when she spotted him. He approached her and said, “I am Monsanto and I do not wish to leave you because we are the same.” She embraced him. Then he said, “I had always felt like I was one but already I got lost in these thoughts, I forgot who I was and for the first time I prayed to God, and then I heard a voice within me say that I was a cell in God’s body, and that infinite knowledge lay within me and that God would be with me always, all around me. Then I heard you call to me and now we stand here, and I think we should move from this experience together. “

Taja and Monsanto spent the night in the forest together, feeling to unsure to return home, when they looked at each other, something had happened. Their bodies had taken on a different form.